OK OK, I’m not born in the USA, and me singing the refrain of that song isn’t likely to bring much joy to anybody either, but I’m bound to spend a few months in the US for work and I guess this is the ideal time to resurrect my little test blog here and waste some time writing about my trip.
We start off with the flight: Leaving from Luxembourg, I only had a standard security check to undergo and then was off to the UK in an Embraer ERJ-145. Arrival in London wasn’t very spectacular either: Get off the plane, follow the lanes labeled ‘connecting flights’, past some security people who were constantly shouting ‘only one carry-on bag for passengers’ right to a huge waiting line for another security check. Spent a little time waiting there and admiring the instructions video on the flat screens (couldn’t they at least have put on some sports event or a movie?) and, once I had passed this hurdle, headed for the United Airlines check in. There, I was asked some silly questions about my luggage (Did I take something from a stranger? Did I leave it unattended? Do I have electronic devices in it and if yes, were these outside of my control since the last use?) and given new boarding passes after having changed my seat from a middle seat to an isle one. (Doing that apparently requires at least 4 new boarding passes to be printed with 50% of them going right back into the trash.)
Anyway, freshly checked in, I headed for Terminal 3 in a dedicated bus which reminded me that the British drive on the left side of the road. At Terminal 3, I was pretty much stuck with nothing to do; the ideal time to whip out my copy of Douglas Adams’ ‘Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency’ and start reading. I managed to process a few chapters before my thirst got the better of me and forced me to buy something to drink (in the process of which I managed to swap my 10 EUR bill into about 4 GBP of change). As I was enjoying my orange juice and wandering around the Terminal, I caught a glimpse of one of the typical airport phenomenons that only geeks like me can truly appreciate and hence I give you, the first photograph done on this voyage:
The quality’s a little grainy, as I couldn’t muster up the courage to whip out my Nikon COOLPIX P5000 in light of all those ‘no camera’ signs and opted to use my cell phone’s built-in camera instead, but skilled eyes will be able to recognize the Windowsian error message box on the rightmost screen in the picture close-up (click pic to enlarge).
Anyway, I soon noticed that my flight had moved up on the list of departures and finally gotten around to display a gate number next to it. So I headed for gate twentysomething (I forgot which one it was) and was met with more questions about my luggage at the boarding checkpoint. Once I responded to those, I was set aside and asked to wait while people in front of me underwent yet another security check. I quickly memorized the routine and performed the ‘spread arms, undress shoes and let people rummage through your bag dance’ once it was my turn. Having proved my utter harmlessness once again, I sat down in the lounge and just as I reached for Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency again, the loudspeakers announced that boarding would begin with the business class customers and then the rows at the back of the plane. Shortly after that, my row range was up and I entered the plane, found my seat, stowed away trusty old Xerxes, my laptop, in the overhead luggage compartment and sat down … for about 10 seconds. The young woman who had the doubtful privilege of sitting next to me was waiting in the isle and I had to get up to let her in.
I have only one word for the flight: long! It started out with a little snack for everybody (some salted pretzels and a drink) and then the in-flight movies came on. I opted for ‘300’, not having seen that one in the cinema. The 10x15cm screen probably doesn’t do the movie any justice and it doesn’t help if there’s half a centimeter of vertical row at the left edge that is defective. The two pixel defects in the middle, one red, one blue, didn’t even compare to the multitude of colors that this thing displayed on the left, and the loose headphone jack that kept crapping out when I moved wasn’t adding to my enjoyment of the entertainment system either, but well. With the offscoller of ‘300’ behind me, I switched to ‘Blades of Glory’ for lack of any better option. I had already seen it at the movies but it still managed to kill time. Unfortunately after it was done I was still left with 4 hours ETA displayed on the in-fight information channel, all of this of course while being cramped between two economy seats with literally zero leg room. So I try to get some sleep, turning around in my seat to keep my legs from going numb every so often and getting hit in my right knee every time the little girl, who finds it overly entertaining to do rounds in the plane’s isles, passes me with her father hot in pursuit. I did manage to doze off half heartedly though and woke up with only 2 hours ETA left, so out came Dirk Gently again to bridge the remaining time until the landing.
Dulles International Airport, Washington, D.C., I finally set foot on American soil for the first time in my life, even though technically this area might still be considered international. Anyway, I grab my suitcase from the luggage carousel and then follow the signs until I hit the customs and immigration area. The immigrations officer just asked a few basic questions (whom do I work for and what, …) and finally my hard earned L1-B VISA (long story) was accepted and I got my ‘Welcome to the US’ greeting. The next step, customs, was done pretty quickly too: Give papers to customs official and then continue on with my luggage to the ‘re-check’ point where I leave my suitcase to pursue it’s own way into the next plane. I myself have to pass another security check, this time the shoes come off and have to go through the metal detector as well. I’m still considered harmless and thus free to continue to the next terminal as soon I find out which one that actually is. To my surprise, my flight already has a gate displayed on the info screens even though it is sill 2.5 hours away, so I head towards the next Terminal which leads me into this strange room that turns out to be a shuttle bus docked to the airport terminal (with doors leading into it at its ‘rear’ and ‘front’ though technically it is symmetrical and has neither of these). Personally, i’d feel a little weird sitting between the entrance doors on the side, well actually front, going forward and driving it against a wall, but that’s what the woman in the driver’s cabin does anyway, docking the contraption to the next Terminal, which I board through said doors at the front. Gate 6B, where my flight’s supposed to leave, is just around the corner and down a flight of stairs but the waiting area turns out to be very cold (somebody went crazy on the AC here). With over two hours left, I grab my laptop and try to find some network to get onto the Internet. I eventually hit an open WLAN, but it turns out to be pretty much unusable with transfer rates worse than a 1200 baud modem and constant timeouts and connection losses, so Xerxes returns into his, yes, he’s male, carrying bag and Dirk Gently comes to the rescue again.
Over the next few hours, the area started to fill up more and more with people and got rather lively as flights started to depart from the two gates served by this waiting room. At around 22:20, I embark on my final flight to Cleveland, Ohio, which luckily wasn’t very long and left me exiting the plane at around 23:40 local time. I meet up with the driver who’s supposed to take me to my hotel and we go to grab my suitcase which to my surprise isn’t ‘wearing’ the colored strap that was supposed to make it easier for me to recognize it. Fortunately for me though, my suitcase model seems to be rather rare so I still manage to make it out on the carousel and, as I grab it, notice the aforementioned colour band dangling from the handle. A later inspection of the suitcase shows that it was apparently opened in Washington for a security check. I’m so glad not to be a terrorist, they must have a really hard time at airports. ;)
What follows is a short trip over the freeway from Cleveland to Akron, some smalltalk about local driving regulations and my work assignment, and eventually, I arrive, completely exhausted, at the Hilton in Fairlawn, Akron Ohio.
P.S. More pictures will follow in the gallery as I take them.